Laurence Owen: Taxi. Tom Waits. Swedish People. Winona. Need I say more?

Simon Mason: Stallone is too old to be doing action roles still. 

Sam Taylor: 8-bit Nintendo-y goodness. Edgar Wright pushes the boat out completely. 

Alex McIntyre: So devilishly entertaining you forget Bond films were once sophisticated. 

Douglas Reid: Marks in a field, not that scary really. CROP CIRCLES!

Lee Trevor Sanders: Spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler, kid, spoiler, spoiler spoiler, Bruce Willis. 

Alex McIntyre: Witness a great patriotic dance flick ruined by George Sampson.

Manuel Walker: Stupid little fish turns into a girl. Nothing else happens. 

Alex McIntyre: A slight return to form, but why the reset button?!

Lewis-Dane Fry: Man alone in New York with dog. Weird zombie things.